never trust a woman. like how the fuck you gonna trust something that bleeds for a week and doesn’t die




Today at IHOP I demanded each of my pancakes have an equal number of blueberries

did they do it?

No they just stared at me blankly and said “do you how long that’s going to take”

it’s our one year and we are spending it eating left over take out and studying(: I couldn’t ask for a more perfect night with the most perfect guy I’m so happy((((((:


What always bugged me about getting married was that if the marriage was perfect and you loved eachother more than anything, eventually one of you dies and one of you will make that awful trip home from the hospital alone and open the door to your house and close it and the house will be so quiet and then you go to bed alone for the first time in awhile and you know that you’ll be sleeping alone for the rest of your life.

or as 80 year olds you can both take some ecstasy and have sex and die from a heart attack during the sex it would be the best way to go tbh


remember the time Bruce Jenner had to sit two rows behind his family at a basketball game


just uploading these to remind you guys that i am still cute as heck




Fun little trick I learned in therapy: validation. When someone is upset, don’t try to fix the problem, point out the cause, or tell them it could be worse. Just validate their emotions. Be like, ‘shit yeah man, that sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m here for you.’ That’s literally all you have to do to make them feel better. Thank you and goodnight.